Of course I’ve thought about it, been thinking about it. Contemplating on it now more than ever, I guess. It’s not that I’m being pressured by my Dad to find one but… have you ever felt stupid when asked what will you do with your life now and strangely you don’t know the answer? Its answer is almost as slippery to grasp as the answer to the question “Who am I?”. Not that many people ask me about it; most of the time it’s me who hurls that question at myself.
Yes, I’ve finally graduated from the university last April 10, and yes, I’m still unemployed. I haven’t applied to any company yet and I didn’t really have plans of doing so this summer. I was planning on working on it come the latter part of May or June. It’s just that, when I see these people determined to work now and here I am, watching my favorite shows on TV, lounging on the couch reading books or ebooks, trying to learn a few phrases of this foreign language, surfing the internet, or running a blog and other social media accounts—I’m dragged down, frustrated because in that certain issue I can’t think like they do. I’ve made no effort in looking for work.
Before the thought of me being dependent on my Dad crosses somebody’s mind, let me say that I don’t have any plans of doing such. My Dad’s done his part(though he tells me he’d still have me here if I can’t find a job) by paying for my education and giving me a home and allowance and some other things that fall under Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Before the thought of me having no dreams except those that my brain concocts while I’m asleep, let me say that if I get to work, I’d work on something I’m passionate about. Let me say that if I get to work, I’d work for the people I love—them who told me that as long as I’ve earned what I deserve for my hard work, they’d be happy. They already know who they are, as I’ve told them repeatedly every time we meet.
Right now, my prayer is that when that moment comes, I won’t forget. When that moment comes, I’ll remember who or what brought me here. When that moment comes, they’ll be with me when I soar the skies.